If everything is below me
Then why is everything so loud?
I’m in this for myself
But i put everyone in front of me
It’s like I take steps forward
But I’m always in back
All the time
When do things truly go your way when you make everyone get their way
It’s all loud and there’s sound but there’s nothing worth hearing
When I put myself in the front
I mess it up thinking whether I hit the right note or the nerve
The voices in pity telling me i did good but i know the truth
I can’t even tell you what the faces were like
It doesn’t even matter
Colorful masks with twisted, morphed faces see through me
Because I’m a glass home
You’re allowed to throw stones
I’ll never be good enough for things I love
Because they break too
My sound is unknown
My smile is wide like a clown
My speaking voice is loud and telling the truth until it drowns
Until it drowns out by the sound
That no one wants to hear
Realizing that you could be so far away never really affected me
Until I felt the wind gently sweeping through the window and into the room where you slept
Being alone doesn’t scare me
Knowing that no one cares does
You acted like you didn’t care
But you did
Seven years apart in age doesn’t exactly read personality match
The green walls filled with posters of wrestlers and rappers make me giggly like a kid.
I realize I’m still a kid in your eyes
Whatever was unfinished in your life I wanna finish it for you
If i don’t make it for me, I’ll make it for you
That’s the way it goes
Nothing ever ends without the ending
And that’s the truth
Take the stress and pain off your hands
And put it into mine
I’m a martyr for the bloodline
A giver for the new one
Your dreams never end until they’re accomplished and done
Until your soul feels whole
You will never need to be consoled
Solace and pain left your body when you left the earth
It felt so free to let it be in one place
And have a blank slate in another.
The life you wanted will become completed from a friend to another
From a sister to a brother
From a father to a daughter
We have all the time in the world they say
Let’s do it today come what may
Time drives us to the limit
Time drives us to our wits end
Messages in time is all we can lend
It’s never too late
When time runs out what happens?
Do we lose it all?
Are we truly ready for it?
When the time is up do we get the answers?
When our gap started to close
Life pulled you further away
It never gave us a chance to heal old wounds and close old chapters
That’s what upset me
It made me run away from inevitable things
What I lacked in relationships, I made up in distance
It’s crazy how a couple of miles can change everything
It took away my mourning and turned it into daylights
and bright lights
Maybe when you lose apart of you things come back together.
Growing into what you wanted
But you’re not here to see it
But I feel you in the air
You’re where no one can see but me
That’s comforting in the coldest days and the frightening nights
Knowing that you live through it all
Our experiences never die
Just recycle into other experiences that remind us of other times
It’s crazy how a couple of miles can change everything
It took away my mourning and
turned it into daylights
And bright lights
Maybe when you lose apart of you
Things come back together………
When i see a feather I know you’re thinking of me there’s nothing holding me back when I know it’s okay and that you’re there.
When I’m in my feelings or my memories
I think of you.
I used to think a hit of you would make me better.
It would crave my hunger for the
It took me a lot of lonely and tearful nights to realize that it wasn’t love.
I used to call knowing that you wouldn’t answer until you wanted to.
Just to hear your voicemail cause it got me closer to satisfaction
I didn’t need you
I needed your voice
Everything but your heart because I knew I would never get that
That tore me up inside like a hurricane.
However, I settled for pieces of you
I settled for splashes of you.
I didn’t know any better.
I hit a brick wall over and over until my heart ended up in your hands for you to manipulate.
I’m stronger now
Not because I want to
But because I need to
Keep myself guarded
To take myself back to where I started
He journeyed across land and sea
Just to see what could be.
He didn’t believe since he was younger that there was something
guiding us to be better
Something that knows what we’re doing before we do it, it baffled him.
Who really knows all the answers? He says to the sky. And if someone knows all the answers, why aren’t they doing anything to stop it?
If we’re all suffering, why doesn’t “he” help us? Why keep us in pain if you have the remedy to problems? He questioned to the stars. Tears filled his face as he remembered everything that saddened and disappointed him. His mom struggling to stay above water.
His dad passing away
People coming in and out of his life.
He’s a wanderer to just to escape the pain of a unfulfilling, sedentary life.
He always wondered will there ever be something or someone who will understand and have his back without a question or doubt.
Will he discover a force that loves him unconditionally.
Someone who will build him up when the chips are down?
Then a presence appeared that weighed him down and felt like a hand touched from behind on his shoulder. He was perplexed and confused by this presence and how peaceful he felt. For a minute he wanted to turn around and face the presence but the fact that in his darkest moment in the middle of the night in the wilderness where no one knew where he was this presence knew where he was, eased his darkness, silenced his cries, and touched him truly gave him a feeling that he didn’t need to know the answers. Some things don’t need explaining or answers.