Quest

He journeyed across land and sea
Just to see what could be.
He didn’t believe since he was younger that there was something
guiding us to be better
Something that knows what we’re doing before we do it, it baffled him.
Who really knows all the answers? He says to the sky. And if someone knows all the answers, why aren’t they doing anything to stop it?
If we’re all suffering, why doesn’t “he” help us? Why keep us in pain if you have the remedy to problems? He questioned to the stars. Tears filled his face as he remembered everything that saddened and disappointed him. His mom struggling to stay above water.
His dad passing away
People coming in and out of his life.
He’s a wanderer to just to escape the pain of a unfulfilling, sedentary life.
He always wondered will there ever be something or someone who will understand and have his back without a question or doubt.
Will he discover a force that loves him unconditionally.
Someone who will build him up when the chips are down?
Then a presence appeared that weighed him down and felt like a hand touched from behind on his shoulder. He was perplexed and confused by this presence and how peaceful he felt. For a minute he wanted to turn around and face the presence but the fact that in his darkest moment in the middle of the night in the wilderness where no one knew where he was this presence knew where he was, eased his darkness, silenced his cries, and touched him truly gave him a feeling that he didn’t need to know the answers. Some things don’t need explaining or answers.

Asylum Narrative 1- Nurses Perspective

I wonder what makes people this way? Was it God’s way of punishment towards them or their parents? One of the patients I look after, John Donovan is one of the most peculiar and wildest patients sporadically strips himself naked saying “the spirits have got hold of me”. John says this repeatedly and continues to act erratically for 3 more days, only to calm down, and act “normal” again. What spirits john? What spirits have got hold of you so tightly that you’ve got to act this way?? I think in my mind as I administer the drug into his body that will render him tired, unconscious, spiritless, and “normal”. I can’t help but think, what is “normal” to John? What’s normal to any of these people anyway? All their lives they’ve been poked, proded, and examined as if they’re animals. Even the way this cold, huge, grey, industrial building is set up adds towards the pain. The Nathan Wild Asylum is what its called. The building is gargantuan. It’s almost like a castle out of those novels mom read me from the middle ages. The halls are white, long, wide, and blank. This is where boredom goes to die. This is where life gets trapped and is in a standstill. This is where boredom might just drive you mad. This is hell. The cells where John Donovan and the patients are expected to be cured or live until someone sees fit for them to leave are cold just like the whole lifeless building. The cells with bars of steel is made for them to be contained. I personally don’t think shoving someone in a dark windowless, cold cell to receive mind and body altering drugs through a slot is the best remedy for being cured of a mental illness. I don’t have a remedy for it however, do we really ever get cured of mental illness? I assume John will just take life day by day, clutching onto the sanity that got served to them through a rectangular, metal, slot. Donovan suffers from what is called Paralytic Insanity. He almost borders on General Paralysis because of his raving and unmanageable behavior. I don’t find it to be crazy. He knows something we don’t know about beyond the earth and universe. He communicates with them on an outer body level that we don’t understand. He speaks to ghosts. How odd would it be to speak to ghosts?