Miles

When our gap started to close
Life pulled you further away
It never gave us a chance to heal old wounds and close old chapters
That’s what upset me
It made me run away from inevitable things
What I lacked in relationships, I made up in distance

It’s crazy how a couple of miles can change everything
It took away my mourning and turned it into daylights
and bright lights
Maybe when you lose apart of you things come back together.

Growing into what you wanted
But you’re not here to see it
But I feel you in the air
You’re where no one can see but me
That’s comforting in the coldest days and the frightening nights
Knowing that you live through it all
Our experiences never die
Just recycle into other experiences that remind us of other times

It’s crazy how a couple of miles can change everything
It took away my mourning and
turned it into daylights
And bright lights
Maybe when you lose apart of you
Things come back together………

When i see a feather I know you’re thinking of me there’s nothing holding me back when I know it’s okay and that you’re there.

Splash of You

When I’m in my feelings or my memories
I think of you.
I used to think a hit of you would make me better.
It would crave my hunger for the
It took me a lot of lonely and tearful nights to realize that it wasn’t love.
I used to call knowing that you wouldn’t answer until you wanted to.
Just to hear your voicemail cause it got me closer to satisfaction
I didn’t need you
I needed your voice
Your hands
Your lips
Everything but your heart because I knew I would never get that
That tore me up inside like a hurricane.
However, I settled for pieces of you
I settled for splashes of you.
I didn’t know any better.
I hit a brick wall over and over until my heart ended up in your hands for you to manipulate.
I’m stronger now
Not because I want to
But because I need to
Keep myself guarded
To take myself back to where I started

Driven

Driving for what?
In the dark.
Driving for a solution
for an answer
Driving to nowhere to fill the nothingness of loneliness
If I could drive to the ends of the earth I would.

Driving til there’s no more road
Driving just stay in my mode
No people.
No distractions.
Like I’m in space

The only thing I see is the open road
That awaits me.
Everything and everyone that hates me is behind me.
God is the only one who could find me.
Death is the only thing that could stop me.

I’m driving til there’s no more road
Driving just to stay in my mode
No people.
No distractions.
Like I’m in space.

I’m driven to find my destination
Driven to know the answers
Although there’s nothing there
I still keep searching
Til I tear.

Unsteady Ecstasy

There’s an unsteadiness in my soul
My stomach in knots
My eyes star crossed, punch drunk in love with warmth of the night
I feel like my body is about to take flight
While the grime of the city is behind me, the fight is in my guts
I’m happy and I don’t know why
My gut is telling me to run
But my soul is telling me soak and bathe in the blue light of ecstasy
Be happy while you can it says
These feelings are pretty transient
You never know when things can flip
It’s as unsure as a boat
an unsteady one
The one’s that are in rough seas
And you don’t know whether they’ll tip over and drown or smoothly sail
Across the seas and take you home

Hiding

Just hiding from the rain
Trying to find a distant place
To live again
Going through my imagination
Like they were polaroids
To make things seem more sane
Hiding seems to be the best escape
When I can’t latch onto a feeling
When things slips through my fingers like sand
It all gets too serious
And i back away unattached to the moment
Turning away, having a shoulder so cold it cuts the wind
It cuts you leaving you to pick up the pieces.

Gone

If i told you that i loved you
It wouldn’t even matter
Cause you’re gone gone gone
And if I told that I care
The world would stop and stare
Cause you’re gone gone gone
It looks weird making love to a memory
It looks crazy loving someone
who’s not there
These walls won’t hold me back
It’s you that I lack
Cause you’re gone gone gone
Someone tell me how to make sense of this life
Because it doesn’t exist when I’m all alone
Call me dependent on feelings
The blind leading blind
I’m indecisive so don’t tell me to make up mind
It’ll be the same old song
Have I been making you up all along
I got the game of life all wrong…….

Cold/We Don’t Have to be

It’s not the world that gets cold
It’s us that gets a little cold
Cause at the end of the day we all get a little cold
As I looked down at my brothers cold face at his funeral.
All the life and structure that made his face beautiful is still there but is manufactured and made up by the mortician’s attempt to capture the last bit of life he had.
It’s a beautiful attempt but not the same.
It’s like trying to bring life to a wax figure or person who’s had too much plastic surgery. It just doesn’t work.
We don’t all have to be cold.
We feel we have to be cold to protect what hasn’t been taken away from us.
But we don’t realize we have to be warm to gain what we haven’t discovered.
We can melt away the facade.
We don’t have to be cold as if we were our dead counterparts going into the ground.
Live, breathe, feel it all as if you’re in the nature in its rawest most gorgeous state.

Wonderful Merge

Like the grassroots that stained me
Like the lifeline that made me
Life itself tainted me
The wonderful merge that bridged people together is now yet again separated by the people who once made it
What used to be is now slowly dying Love, Respect, The Middle Class, Humanity, etc……..

The bridge made sense
The bridge had no water underneath The bridge didn’t choke the life out of people

My Mouth

My mouth is a razor blade
A concoction of fury and beautiful pick me up’s
You’d be surprised of things that come out of this little mouth

My mouth is the alcohol on your wounds
It burns but in time it heals

My mouth could be a pop song
It shakes you up
Makes you think
Or it could be a jazz song
Keeps you reeling and guessing
Of where i go next until my trance makes you sink.

My mouth could be my brain
But then i’d have no friends
Or I’d be dead
My mouth could be poisonous like lead.

Sometimes my mouth and i
Need to tread, tread lightly on those who’s skin is so thin it’s like ripping a petal off a rose
My mouth is the mother bear that protects it’s cubs
Those that hurt whom she cares for
gets ripped to shreds as if they’re ribbon.

My mouth is painted many colors
Red, blue, turquoise, black
It’s so beautiful you’re taken aback.
You look at my mouth and it makes up for everything you lack
It’s so mesmerizing you’ve caught a heart attack

My mouth being full
My mouth being unsteady
These words have power
I sure hope you’re ready

City Life

People come here to make dreams come true
Most of those dreams die within a matter of months and years
As if your dreams and aspirations were the candy that that huge bully in the fifth grade took, smashed it, and handed it to you like the shit didn’t happen.

We live in the city but not the city
You see on the postcard
We’re at the bottom of the barrel but in the middle of it all? Isn’t it funny
In the middle there’s money
But out here there’s nothing
We’re scatter brained and frightened
What to do now?

I love the city
It runs through my vains like water runs through valleys and rivers
But if this is city life
I want no part of it.

Especially when my heart is in it.
There’s no start and beginning
Change is inevitable but this is changing at a whirlwind pace
I turn around and everything that’s different is in my face