So it’s official. It’s the end of the first week of the 365 Writing Challenge. I’ve promised myself that I wouldn’t screw it up and miss a day and I haven’t so far and I’m obviously very happy. I’m accomplishing something (so far) that I actually said I was going to do, which is what I said I would work on for the new year. I always struggle with what I’m going to write about next or at least write next. There’s so many things I can write about! There’s so many things I’m conflicted with! Where’s my focus button?!
You may be asking: “What could I possibly be conflicted about?” I’ll go with the first out of many conflicts I have with writing everyday. The first being: What am I writing next? My mind can literally go in so many ways it may just drive me nuts. My ideas come and go like seasons to the point where I have to center myself about what I truly want to put out there to the universe. One minute I want to be write poetry, the other, minute it’s short story or narrative. If you’ve seen my blog and/or have been following so far, I’ve been posting mostly poems. I think the reason why I’ve been posting more poems than any other form is because to me (and no offense to others) poems seem easier to write and also quicker to write. To me, writing an essay, short story, etc. takes more time, effort, and thought as opposed to a poem where I just write expressions. Long story short, I’ll work on variety and expand the pallet as I have been doing.
Lastly, I have one more conflict. I’m not the best at focusing. One thing I can say has hindered me from being productive in all aspects is the television. Now, maybe I should correct myself and say it’s not the televisions fault for hindering my productivity. I mean it takes two to tango. I can say that I have encouraged my laziness instead of down right ignoring the idiot box as I’m doing now. It wouldn’t kill me to admit my wrongs. Trust me when it comes to wrongs I’ll be the first to admit mine. I’m not looking for sympathy or someone to blame. However, it wouldn’t kill my family members to turn the TV off for a couple of hours. I get distracted easily and focused as I try to be, I have to try harder. Maybe I need a work space or an office? I don’t know but my focus is a work in progress and I can say it’s not all that bad.
This year for New Years Eve, I sat my totally frantic family down for a new tradition I started out of the blue. I decided at the eleventh hour to do an interesting project I called: “Bury the B.S with 2014”. I sat them down, pulled out my carefully ripped pieces of paper and five pens and instructed my family to “write down their resolutions on a piece of paper and put it in the bucket.” My aunt quickly interjected and stated “I can’t make no promises. I have my own promises and priorities I have to keep so I have no time for that.” I questioned myself in my head while I handed out the papers and pens, what the hell is really in a resolution now a days?
Every year, everyone on NYE makes a resolution that they “promise to keep”. Things like weight loss (that’s a popular one amongst myself and others), financial prosperity, peace among earth, yada yada yada etc. However, by the second week of January where are we? Honestly where are most of us? On the couch watching reruns and marathons of “The Walking Dead”( at least that’s what I’ve done before). So this dilemma that haunts not only me and others brings me to this essential question and problem: Are resolutions really important?
By definition, Resolution has two meanings. One of them being “a firm decision to do or not to do something”. We all make “firm decisions” to do or not to do something whenever we can but when do we ever follow through? I believe it’s way better to say you hav a goal or something you want to do or try differently for next year. I don’t know about you but I hate to break promises to others. They may be mad at you and it may not affect you that much. They would be disappointed however it’s a whole new plane of disappointment when you let yourself down. To me it feels like you have no sense of control or power over your actions but pack a punch in your words. It takes very little to talk about what you’re going to do but it takes a hell of a lot to get off your butt and do. A true testament to the infamous saying “Don’t write a check your butt can’t cash”.
These days people say a lot but there’s no true meaning behind it. So what would make a resolution so different?
How does a resolution stand out in a sea of meaningless words and promises transferred from a mouth into the universe? Most importantly, how do you stand out from a society full of people who false advertise on Facebook that they’re changing themselves while in the house lounging around as if the world doesn’t need changing or that they don’t need changing. In some way this weird fraudulent activity could motivate you (or you just may be the one participating in this as we all have at least once) seeing someone post “New Year, New Me” with an accompanying flattering picture. However, as you go into your journey realize “Hey, there’s nothing going on in this person’s life whatsoever. Maybe i’ll just go this one alone”. Or in the words of Miley Cyrus “Stop sleeping on myself/ wake up and do it on my own”.
We realize that the ball is in our court when it comes to making promises (not resolutions) to ourselves not only on New Years Eve but in general. So why not make a shot? Why not go for the gold? Why not stand out and actually do it instead of posting about it? Go ghost and do your thing, come back in a couple of weeks or months and slay the shit out of the posers as well as slaying the shit out of your promises. Don’t let yourself down and don’t let another promise be worthless.